Survive

My every thought and action are carefully considered,

lest I draw any sort of attention to myself, because:

That’s just being a melodramatic

One never wants to give the impression of seeking attention,

Seeking Good Attention indicates arrogance,

Bad Attention- desperation

But there’s fixation on my situation and it leaves me unsettled,

I’m frozen, tiptoeing through my room at night

Don’t make a sound

Let everyone believe you’re asleep

Find me some bottles covered in candle wax, incense, and vanilla body spray

I could be fourteen again,

But I’m not and this is stupid.

Every sound seems amplified,

As I sneak and creep and hide,

lest I draw any sort of attention to myself, because:

That’s just being a melodramatic

They’re going to think you’re lying,

You’re best just not to speak,

Liar, manipulator, user, whore

Let the razors speak for you

They will believe you now,

Right?

Instead you’re told that

You’re not in pain, you’re contrived,

You’re being dramatic,

And you need to quit,

lest you draw any sort of attention to yourself because:

That’s just being melodramatic

Now, I am a shield for my children,

Their perfect little hearts and minds should not endure this and,

I’ve never truly been afraid that I wasn’t strong enough,

Until now.

I am a warrior, a protector, and a vindicator,

But I have been in battle for so damn long,

So, I’ve begun to duck and hide whenever possible,

lest I draw any sort of attention to myself because:

That’s just being melodramatic

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